remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
