after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
