I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize