Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My vagina just recognized that song.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
