I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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