i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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