why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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