So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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