I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
