It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
