i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
