dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she told me i tasted like america
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
