like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
