Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
