i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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