i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
