I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
