Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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