just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
