I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
