Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
