He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
