I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
