# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
