You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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