My brain says no but my pants say off.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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