the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
