Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
