i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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