Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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