is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
