are you still at the devil's house?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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