Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude i'm inner monologue high
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
