Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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