Will you blow on my dice?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
