U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
