Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
