Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
