She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
