suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
