Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
