then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
