Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
