my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
