five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
