We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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