I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
