wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm at about main and main street
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
