she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How naked do you want me to be?
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