Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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